Ram Leela : Shakespeare raped somewhere in Gujarat

Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s (SLB) film Ram Leela has us going to the absolute first principles of the cinematic experience and questioning it.  What is Cinema ? 

• Silk in the Dirty Picture defines it by saying Cinema is only three words “Entertainment, Entertainment, Entertainment”. Well SLB’s movie was not that...so we go to the next definition
• Cinema should be meaningful: In this definition a feature film would have a certain story, a rhythm a flow in the dialogues or timelines.... Well SLB’s movie was not that either...so we go on to the next one
• Cinema is about Realism: Like the art films of the 70’s .... SLB’s movie was also not that at all by a far stretch...so again we are pushed to the next definition
• Cinema is/should/can be Artistic : Garish explosions of colour in various shades of Red, totally fantastic sets which even a showman like Raj Kapoor only put in a dream sequence make a part of everyday ethos...no its Arabian Nights meet Japanese advertising meet Kathiawad... good art does carry with it a coherence which is absent here ...SLB’s movie is not Art either are there any more categories whose definitions are left ?
• Documentary Cinema, Short Film, Meaningful cinema, Good cinema, Bad cinema, Average cinema, which one exactly is this,  I asked myself and then it became apparent, truly apparent. 

This is "the revenge of the nerd". SLB is taking revenge on films, film making and film folk by taking their money and packaging it just so that it seems outwardly like a motion picture but instead is a mindless soul destroying experience. His greater crime, dragging William Shakespeare into this muck. Now William Shakespeare is the one author who has been most favoured by filmmakers, playwrights across the world for a story inspiration. His writing has been interpreted sometimes ordinarily, sometimes tolerably and sometimes superbly but it has always been his work. SLB in Ram Leela rapes Shakespeare himself. Coming out of the theatre, I was completely numbed...could see Billy the Bard otherwise a benign fellow who smiles in black and white from his frock collared photograph looking reproachfully at me...with hurt eyes, his self destroyed...why did he (SLB) do this to me? Have I ever done anything bad to this fellow?  I had no answer to give this impressive author. 

SLB says this movie is his interpretation of Romeo and Juliet. It sketchily creates that skeleton and then bends it, finally crushing it. Romeo Juliet by Shakespeare one line synopsis is 'a romantic tale of two star crossed lovers from opposing factions who die'. SLB’s sets are a confluence of the remnants of the Kendall Shakespeare company’s set pieces, all the stuff in Philip Antiques-Colaba, crowded into one frame thrown in with a peacock who is also killed in a bizarre invite. Shades are pastel when its romantic and red when guns, bullets and ghagras fly most of the other time. Houses in this mythical town can’t have roofs because for 500 years people have drawn out handmade guns and automatic weapons and fired in the air wherever they are standing or at each other. Millions of bullets fly and only 5 people get hit and die, just so you also know that bullets kill, else you would have gone out and wanted a gun for yourself. People here fire bullets randomly, make obscene pelvic thrusts, break into a song , fire more bullets, Ram and Leela are into each others mouths, we have extreme close ups of the lead actors till we see the pores on their noses, their waists, shadows on chiseled bodies in unspoken places, more songs & just quite as suddenly a few more bullets later the movie mercifully ends.

 So we have a Ram’eo and Leela’iet in Ranveer and Deepika who valiantly try and make this motion picture watchable for whatever it is worth, they certainly exude a raw sex appeal but it is not enough. The other star cast has Supriya Pathak, Gulshan Devaiyaah, Abhimanyu Singh, Richa Chaddha and small screen actors led by Sharad Kelkar & Barkha Bisht. Few film old actors & the TV stars may have been thrilled in the beginning at having a big budget film on their CV’s during its making, but how many would own it now is a question that begs answering. Individually, every single actor has done her job, it is the skipper who has screwed up big time. Music again by SLB himself (is there no end to this guy's megalomania, he inserts himself into almost every department for credit be it story, scripting , dialogues etc ) is a revisit to his earlier Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam but that had an accomplished composer at its helm in Ismail Darbar. Choreography is impressive if seen on TV, one song at a time but together it is a tad repetitive like the music.

As a conclusion I would recommend that SLB gets serious help , he has to visit a psychiatrist, or in the best case be institutionalized and not be let loose near a camera ever again. He is angry with films and film folks else a person in his right mind would never make this and have the audacity to call it cinema. 

Alternately if he has to make films they should come with a sovereign money back guarantee;  as a minimum  protection of the pockets of paying customers. We can't do much for the trauma they are subjected to by watching his work except only warn them. Instead of a disclaimer the film should have a statutory warning like they have on cigarette packs. 

This is a fan of cinema and a paying consumers frustration at seeing pretenders getting big budgets to play around with, to splurge and to lay it waste. While on the other hand many real filmmakers with good ideas, stories struggle to find finance and marketing or even a platform where they can contribute to the pantheon of Good Indian Cinema. 

Do not waste your money here folks. Eat Bhelpuri or if you want the promised experience or better yet  go eat a Gujarati Thali at Thacker Club - Girgaum, Mumbai or a Rajdhani-several branches in Mumbai, that will most certainly be immensely more fulfilling. 

Captain Phillips : Tension on the high seas

A Tom Hanks movie comes with its own level of expectation and he has rarely fallen short.

Here though more than Hanks the work belongs to Bill Ray’s book ( A Captains Duty: Somali Pirates, Navy SEALS and Dangerous Days at Sea ) and the captain of the movie, its director Paul Greengrass( Bourne Supremacy, Bourne Ultimatum). Maersk Shipping Lines vessel Alabama being hijacked on the high seas by Somalian pirates is the one liner of this superb work on celluloid. 

The movie attracted controversy in Hanks portrayal of Phillips as being inaccurate, the original Merchant Master being arrogant, and is said to have had disregarded the crews safety by ignoring piracy warnings for those waters…that apart.

As a film it is an edge of the seat drama, and Greengrass makes it pacy and real. Barkhad Abdi as Abdullah Muse the pirate leader is chillingly matter of fact. The movie maintains the balance of underlining the bleak situation back home for the Somalian fisher folk; who were responsible for rejuvenating piracy as an industry on the world map. It’s just business between the have not’s and the have’s. What else could they do with the fishing gone to larger trawlers and the politics back there doing very little for their survival. Maritime laws prevent merchant ships from carrying arms. This has created a chink in the armour of the sea trade, making it ridiculously easy for smaller armed groups and vessels to board sailing vessels and hold them for ransom. It happens in the far-east Asian waters and on the African seas and though patrolled still remains a huge area to cover. As a tense hostage drama it ranks right up there and as a situation facing the world trade it creates uncomfortable questions in the mind; On different worlds on a collision course in the times of today. 

Captain Phillips boards the ship, MAERSK Alabama with a set course from Oman to Mombasa with her cargo. The course runs through the Indian Ocean on the Somalian waters that have a history of piracy. Cut frame back to Somalia and we have a fishing village at the edge of the sea being forced to shake butt and grab a ship. It’s the matter of fact manner in which arms are carried by fishermen of all ages that paints a scary picture of a hopeless situation within. A ship any ship and the one that they pirated last week was last week’s job, this week another one is needed to be hijacked. When the captured Captain screams “you are not fishermen”, Muse replies “After the ransom, I want to get to the USA, its different for you there, here I have bosses too”.

The chase, the piracy act on high seas, the hostage drama and the rescue is the stuff to be watched and experienced. Tom Hanks is excellent but the high strung presence of Barkhad Abdi grabs our attention from the time he steps into the first frame. Full marks to be awarded to Greengrass for touching upon a sensitive headlined subject and treating it with a balanced fairness. 

As to the inaccuracy claims they can remain as the subject of a debate like most of the worlds recorded history. 

The Lunchbox: Simply Delicious

There is magic in cinema, undeniably so. Everyone who goes to the movies knows this and experiences it. The most common item on the wish list of every individual sometime or the other has been the ‘want and ability’ to be invisible yet present in the lives of other people and watch them go about their motions. There is power in this simple voyeurism. We are treated to one such. Ritesh Batra, the director here takes us on a magical ride of watching three separate souls going about their lives at the mere price of a ticket. It is money well worth spent and how.

The Lunchbox is a simple tale very well told. As we remove the lid, with the separate tiers and compartments the tale opens out in its many layers and nuances. It’s a sensual movie, strictly not in the commonly understood meaning of the word, but in the manner in which it embraces your every sense.  It heightens the sensations, inadvertently tickles your funny bone and engages cerebrally with a feel last seen in the 70’s when Hrishikesh Mukherjee, and the two Basu's were making their movies. We have in Ritesh Batra , a genuine claimant to the large vacant spot left by these unassuming giants of middle cinema.

It is a Bombay story, a story of lives in constant motion. The lifeline of this city is effectively captured in two systems that transport men and material to their places of work and home. The local trains of Mumbai and the system of the dabbawala’s (the lunchbox couriers). The dabbawaala system is a widely known case study in Harvard University for its six sigma efficiency of a network of largely semi-literate people. They were feted by the Prince of Wales and invited for the Royal Wedding of his son. But that’s by the by, as one lunchbox sent by a young housewife in suburban Malad, Ila ( Nimrat Kaur ) falls outside this bell curve of efficiency and lands on the table of Saajan Fernandes (Irfaan Khan); a curmudgeonly claims clerk in some government department on the verge of retirement. And then unfolds a story of charming proportions. This honest mistake is perpetuated by the similar external wrappings of the box and a lonely housewife’s lovingly cooked food gets gobbled up clean by the widower subsisting on mass catered canteen fare. Both realize their mistake but persist in this culinary adventure and find comradeship. It highlights the plight of the lonely in large populated cities that are hungry for the simple things in life, a kind word, a shoulder, a person to talk to, to be understood and understand. Into this milieu steps in a third character Shaikh ( Nawazuddin Siddiqui) as an understudy to Saajan to take over after he retires. He is the pesky, sticky colleague who unnecessarily gets personal and familiar till one gets to know his story. It’s a tale of Ila & Saajan who unburden their inner thoughts to each other through notes in a dabba. The tale is also of Shaikh, an orphan making his way alone in his worklife; In his own way he too is hungry for acceptance and a camaraderie that he looks for from Saajan. In all of this the people seek and hope for happiness, in a crowded city where the closest can be very far and by a quirk of fate find that a mistake can actually turn out and make things come out right.

The performances are excellent. Irfaan is a superlative actor and can stand up to be counted in the pantheon of India’s finest. His eyes express in a manner best articulated by the Marathi poet Kavi Grace in these lines 

“Shabdatun Artha Umagava (From the word emerges a meaning)

Arthaatun Shabda Vagalata” (And then the meaning does not require the very word it emerged from)

He says it all and without many words too.

Nimrat Kaur is a find for cinema, her face is very familiar from the various commercials and stage shows she has done. As a performer she comes into the film honed, intelligent, beautiful and bringing to the character of Ila a rare honesty, integrity and balance that is a fitting footage share with an actor of the caliber of Irfaan. It’s no mean achievement for a first film. 

Nawazuddin Siddiqui is totally believable, and like a chameleon fits into every part he accepts colouring it with shades making Shaikh an important element of this story. A lesser actor would not have done. The other notable performance is of Bharati Acharekar, an actor who is not seen on screen we only hear her voice. It is through the crisp homilies, suggestions and interactions with Nimrat that she visually fleshes out her part and it’s a masterful angle in the script. Lilette Dubey comes in a part that could well have been edited out and really adds nothing to the interplay of the others; even the children around Irfaans house convey a lot more. About the technicians, the Food Designer who has created the Lunchboxes visually deserves a pat, even without Irfaan the food looks delicious onscreen to cause a rumble in my stomach. Niharika Khans apparel design is spot on and the dabbawala’s who were to be the primary subject of Ritesh’s documentary, become the system through which he conveys this tale. Yet as the promos said it is not a story of love (that was marketing), it is a story of communication, unlikely friendship and finding a confidante with whom you resonate.

I love the idiom of cinema the way it is panning out with newer voices emerging telling tales that though rooted in India can be understood by a global film viewer with ease. Zoya Akhtar, Farhaan Akhtar, Kiran Rao, and now Ritesh Batra are directors who are world citizens and great storytellers. The variety of the 70’s is coming back into Hindi Cinema and augurs exciting times ahead. 

Shuddh Desi Romance : The Lilt of the Hinterland Hormonica

YRF : The Prelude

Yash Chopra in the decades of the 90’s and 2000’s majestically flew Bollywood to the ski slopes of the Alps ; introducing us the viewer to snow, the tulip’s, daffodils of Switzerland and then smoothly merging them with the mustard fields of Punjab. So much so that he was honoured with the Swiss Ambassadors award of promoting that country through his films. Then the software boom happened and Indians were stomping all around the world, going everywhere and seeing it all. Losing that novelty today the Yash Raj Films (YRF) banner has turned its attention to the Indian hinterland with a vengeance. The director Maneesh Sharma has been appointed their official tour guide to this mythical, mysterious place with its different language and evolving aspirations.

Present Day :  SDR, Purely a Film Review 

So here we find ourselves in Jaipur and straight away jump into the lives of three young souls that randomly collide with each other making the substance of the screenplay. There is also a fourth character, an elderly Rishi Kapoor ( competent as always ) representing the pragmatic voice of the experienced generation; an older India coming to terms with the newer one, doling out homilies in a quirky manner that only he can. Raghuram Sitaram or Raghu is a registered tour guide ( Sushant Singh Rajput, absolutely watchable) who also plays a part-time baraati in the wedding business of Rishi Kapoor.

On his way to getting married to Tara ( debutante, Vani Kapoor , very dishy and poised ) he meets a beautiful, saucy smoking Gayatri ( Parineeti Chopra, very comely and sparkling ) and falls in love ( tezzwala attraction ) and runs away from his own marriage. After this the movie is only a collection of scenarios, long introspections and abject confusion. The characterizations of Raghu, Gayatri and Tara are so exasperating, simplistic and silly that after a point the crammed up charm starts to grate. Now whether he gets the girl or not and if he does then which girl ? The viewer has reached a point where he would scream whatever the f**k happens, who gives a shit... 

Is it a bad film, the answer has to be, No. Is it watchable, yes again. Here is a serious attempt to capture the hypocrisy of the Indian society and its view of love, commitment, sexuality, womanhood and marriage through the voice and eyes of the youth. This voice today is crying out for expression and is in its own forcefully urgent manner claiming its space in the consciousness of Urban & Semi-Urban metropolises of India.

Maneesh Sharma has achieved the absolute impossible, he has made a film out of a brilliantly weaved screenplay that has no coherent story or characterization to back it up. 

It is a visual film. The camera loves its three young protagonists and the colourful locales of Rajasthan without a doubt. The camera sensuously caresses the young curves of Gayatri & Vani and captures the confused, immature charming Raghu and his commitment-phobia wonderfully well. But the character is wimpy and despite his good looks he doesn't elicit empathy. Hence the extremely verbose players manage to just skim a surface without diving any deeper. Music in Hindi cinema is an important ingredient for its success and the songs are hummable, energetic,  yet they look better in the promos than in the movie. Sachin & Jigar have done their job well but the integration was the director’s cut, he quite doesn't get it like he did in his first outing with Band Bajaa Baraat. We get a sense of flitting in and out of that first film BBB what with the marriage arrangers, the catering and the entire ensemble around it.

A good director and a solid production house can trip up despite having good ingredients in actors and technicians. Maneesh the only thing to do now is jump up quickly, shake off the dust and start a new project. This time do focus on a story idea first and believe me everything else will fall correctly into place. My promise to you, I shall come and watch your next effort too with some hope and expectations that you have learned something from the faux’pas from this time around. 

So finally what are we left with? Only raging hormones? Well, yes.
“Armaan khuley hai, Ziddi bulbuley hai”
a phrase in a song purely ( Shuddh )  encapsulates the essence of this Desi Romance. 

Madras Cafe : Scintillating Menu

If Vicky donor was the entre’ course, then Madras Cafe is a fitting main served by the master-chef Shoojit Sircar. 
His is the Cafe I shall like to visit again and again.

Hindi Cinema has the sole distinction of being largely just an entertaining medium, very rarely does it takes one down the thinking road with serious cinema and finally revisiting a chapter in history or the recent past has never been its forte ever.

It has been attempted earlier but consistently has degenerated into flamboyant fiction, jingoism or a plain twisting the facts exercise to suit the market. I won’t take names here as this is the crime one cannot accuse this director of. He has walked across one of the darkest chapters in the history of India and Sri Lanka ( one that unfolded for India in 1987 and climaxed on May 21, 1991 at Sri Perumbudur ) boldly and faithfully; without making any comment of his own, a judgement call or taking sides. It is masterfully done. The story is the star of the show. Somnath Dey and Shubhendu Bhattacharya can take a bow. This is the kind of cinema where it does not truly matter who plays the characters because the script is that powerful and written that way.

  It begins with the Sri Lankan Tamils seeking their freedom under the aegis of Anna Bhaskaran (Ajay Rathnam, perfectly cast and on the ball) and his army of revolutionaries called the LTF. The India – Sri Lanka peace accord signed between the then Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi and the wily Sri Lankan President Junius Jayewardene makes the backdrop for the Indian Peace Keeping Force to enter the scene and spoil the pudding further. Overt war fails and in steps the Indian RAW ( Research & Analysis Wing ) who have their men in place and to understand and exploit the situation better begin a covert operation under Major Vikram Singh ( John Abraham, understated and credible ). He lands in Jaffna the epicentre of the war and encounters a London based Indian journalist covering the war (Nargis Fakri, doing a Jennifer Connelly from Blood Diamond. and does a much better job than her previous film with Ranbir Kapoor). Siddarth Basu is the head of RAW and is a pleasure to watch, he deftly underplays his role to maximum impact. The movie moves at a brisk pace with plots within plots and hurtling towards an eventual end congruently. The actors depicting the men on the field, the Jaffna based RAW men or the Sri Lankan Tamils are all first rate and look completely believable in their roles. This movie enables one to see totally different realities that have credible frames of references when viewed from either side. John’s character mouths a terrible truth “One man’s revolutionary is another man’s terrorist”.

This movie has to be recognized for the path it charts and kudos to John Abraham the producer for the just use of star power. The whole behind the scenes team should feel proud for a job superbly executed be it Shantanu Moitra and the entire Sound Design team headed by Bishwadeep Chatterjee, or Kamaljeet Negi whose lens creates the depth in a frame that draws a viewer into the plot and location. Any cinema that blends the cerebral and the aesthetic becomes a thoroughly engrossing experience. The Indian audience may not yet be ready to handle history in a manner where the names don’t have to be changed and till that day dawns an over-laid “story over reality” format is the best employable golden mean to walk this route.